The End

This is the last post before I leave. I kinda thought I'd never get to write that. I've been terrible about updating this blog, and I doubt many of you even read this anymore, but I just wouldn't feel right if I didn't sum this up somehow.

I would like to preface this with how I've done here, and point out that I've had a great couple days, so anything written in this part of the blog is written in complete emotional stability.

I am officially class Ironwoman. I wanted that award SO BAD, but had pretty much figured I wouldn't get it, because something always happens and lets face it, there's a couple females here who can out push me and that's worth more than seconds on the two mile run (14:15 thank you very much). Due to some events, some demonstrating my mental strength, some demonstrating the functionality of my fitness level, I have earned that award. The cadre chalked it up to my physical strength, mental strength, and working my butt off for it. I am finally proud of my accomplishments here, it almost makes the significant emotional events I experienced here worth it. My academic performance wasn't quite as strong, but I managed to demonstrate a capability above the average of the class, and while I don't really test that well, I do brief extremely well. Well enough to stand up in front of a Major General (two stars) and brief a product I developed.

Most of you know me well enough to know how goal oriented and competitive I am. That worked to my advantage and disadvantage here. To my advantage, I worked my ass off and got more out of this course than some people might. To my disadvantage, I was miserable out here. Its hard to work as hard as you can on something, then watch people who haven't get credit for the same accomplishments you've worked so hard to earn. I'm not naming names, but those of you reading this who were in my class, know who I am talking about. I've been fortunate though. I met a few really great people here, I've met a few I wish I hadn't as well...but that goes for some folks I met before I got here too. That's life I reckon.

Aside from what I just mentioned, there's been some issues with the class just getting along. Naturally in a situation like this there's going to be a few personality conflicts, but this goes beyond that. A member of our class, without the intestinal fortitude to behave like an adult, took extremely serious action against another couple classmates. That one action, taken by someone who didn't have the balls (sorry) to say anything to anyone, gave our class the nickname "Bad News Bears" our class has been so black listed that other classes have been briefed on "our" behavior. OUR?? No, I'll take responsibility for joking about making similar complaints, but I will not take responsibility for the stupidity and irresponsibility of that classmate's actions.
I should mention that we also had a group in our class get in a fight at the beginning of the course, and had another classmate make a pretty bad decision that I won't mention here. Long story short, as I write this I realize that we were pretty much a bunch of trouble makers. However, I resent being labeled a troublemaker simply because of the class I happened to join when I got here.

After what I've mentioned, it may be easy to see that Fort Huachuca is a suicide hotspot. There have been three suicides here in the last month. I challenge anyone who thinks I'm being dramatic about the mental challenge of this course to come try it, with my classmates, during a wildfire, get broken up with while you're out here, watch half your home state get ripped off the map by tornadoes, and make it through without ever being depressed. That said, it could have been worse...it must've been for the three soldiers we lost this month. The positive is not only that I learned a few new skills while I was here- from Site Exploitation (think CSI/NCIS stuff), to learning EVERYTHING about being an intelligence officer, to rock climbing- but I also got to see a good friend I haven't seen in two years, made some incredible new friends, the most important positive is how much closer I am to God now. He is the reason I got through this experience. He has blessed me with a capable body that not only is strong enough to allow me to be a soldier, but to be one of the strongest female soldiers here. He has blessed me with a capable mind, smart enough to get me through this course, and strong enough to handle the homesickness, pain of heartache and worry, and challenge of being accused of being a part of a bad class. With a little more work, I hope I'll get better at giving Him my worries and concerns, and trusting that He will give me what I need, not what I think I need.

To end I'll say that I'm glad to have this experience behind me. I'm lucky to have met the people I did out here that made the times that could be fun an incredible adventure (Thanks Robin and Garrett, and All you other folks...you know who you are), I'm thankful for the wonderful support I have through my family (all 60+ of y'all!!) and at my Unit, y'all have been amazing, and are the reason I could not give up, I'm thankful for the beauty of the mountains out here, and of all the fun places there were to go here (East and West Cochise Stronghold, Tombstone-even though Rick and I were hanged there, Phoenix, Tucson and Mount Lemmon) the people I went there with, Robin, Garrett, and our climbing crew.

This has been one of the most challenging experiences of my life, and I'm better for it.
Thanks to everyone who listened throughout the last 4 months!!!